[This post –The Benefits of Discomfort spurred on my inspiration to write for today.]
The whole reason why I started this blog was to help remind myself why I’m living the life that I do. Once or twice a year, I start to falter in my conviction and second-guess my lifestyle choices. In fact, one of those times is occurring right now. I panic, I can’t sleep well at night, I feel anxious for no apparent reason. It’s usually coupled with a significant lack of money, which either spurs on my anxiety even further or is the main trigger to it. I usually accompany it with an intense desire to go shopping and purchase a whole new wardrobe- that feeling of needing to reinvent myself kicking in hard.
What saves me are my friends. I’m pretty sure I’d be on 1,000’s of different medications if I didn’t have friends. I think a lot, probably too much (hence the reason I can’t smoke weed- more thoughts and reduced ability to talk? No thanks). It begins with a choice, something I have to decide. My mind will start racing in a circle, going over the options and every possible outcome over, and over, and over until I’ve literally paced in a circle, picking the same three things up and setting them down again and again. The thing I’ve learned that saves me is an interaction with another person. As soon as I engage with someone, I’m free. My mind sits back, relaxes, and no longer cares about the 20 various hypothetical consequences of wearing shoes versus sandals to walk to the corner store.
My brain helps me out a lot, and all of the thinking it goes through has pushed me to do more in my life than I ever thought possible. But what’s really made my life possible are my friends. From inviting me out on trips, to finding a new drink at a bar to merely hanging out and pulling me out of my head- friends are the most important thing I’ve gained throughout my life. So, thanks friends. You’re awesome.